So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Bring me that man meat
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
