Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
