Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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