quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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