I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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