I'm so fucking centered right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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