So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
