you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
