should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
