Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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