What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
