we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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