we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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