there's paper in my vomit.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
