There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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