the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
