He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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