I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
