it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
