i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize