I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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