told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
