we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
