For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
