There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
