I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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