at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
