Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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