Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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