Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
