Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
