You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
