I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
