You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
