Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
