tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
