these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
