I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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