Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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