Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My vagina is officially offended.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
