3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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