Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
