I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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