umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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