i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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