every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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