So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
