Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
