We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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