I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
