put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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