her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
