Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
