He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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