She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
